Pengasuhan Anak di Finlandia


RikaRika Melissa – Indonesian woman, currently live in Kerava, Finlandia with two bilingual sons, a Finns husband, and trying (really hard) to learn Suomi language. Always left her heart in Jakarta.

Lain padang lain belalang, begitu kata peribahasa Melayu. Artinya budaya dan tingkah laku manusia selalu bervariasi tergantung tempat tinggalnya, termasuk juga dalam hal pengasuhan anak. Nah, berikut ini praktek-praktek pengasuhan yang menurut saya “Finlandia banget” yang bisa jadi sangat berbeda dengan pola pengasuhan anak di Indonesia (khususnya di Jakarta).

Equality. Prinsip kesetaraan adalah prinsip yang dianut sepenuh hati oleh bangsa Finlandia. Prinsip inilah yang mendasari pemberian Kela maternity box,daycare bersubsidi dan pendidikan gratis bagi seluruh penduduk Finlandia, untuk memastikan bahwa semua anak bisa memulai hidupnya dengan cara yang sama.

Wait, apa itu Kela Maternity Box? Saat usia kandungan Ibu memasuki minggu ke 34-36, Ibu hamil akan mendapatkan sebuah paket dari pemerintah bagian urusan sosial atau dikenal dengan Kela;

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Im only human

Aku manusia biasa yg jauh dr sempurna.
Aku punya banyak dosa dan kesalahan.
Aku minum kl sedang ingin (ga harus 6 bln sekali, n ga smp hilang kendali).
Aku jg ga pk hijab.

Aku hanya manusia biasa yg merasa segala sesuatu harus dilakukan dgn kesadaran, bukan krn paksaan.

Tp sedih bgt liat tmn sendiri yg baru aja H+1 lebaran dgn santainya minum 5 gelas besar beer!
Tmn baru (perempuan) kuat minum 4 gelas bsr beer dan stl aku diantar pulang, dia msh minta nge beer lg pdhl msh pk baju kaftan krn abis halal bihalal-an..

Aku bukan manusia suci.
Cm bs geleng2 kepala melihat mereka.
Dan dalam hati membatin kl aku ga bs sejalan sm lingkungan dan pergaulan mereka..


A self note which i love so much i should just copy the whole article!

Healing, Spirituality, Thoughts

5 Ways to Love Letting Go

July 16, 2014 Jocelyn Daher 31 Comments

The art of true receiving, is the art of letting go.

I have been a procrastinator for years. It is a give and take process, the main indicator of whether you are someone who is not letting go naturally is if you are a procrastinator. Well at least I used to be, until I learned the energy that causes procrastination.

I was infamously the just in time, deadline girl. Constantly putting things off just to save the day for myself like some not all the way thought through super hero. I would just barely pass tests with only a few hours of studying (cramming late night the night before of course). I would show up five minutes late to work just to push my limits. You get the point, I would come through time and again.

Until one day of course this tug and pull, stop and go energy; did just that.

It all stopped. And I didn’t come through.

Actually it turns out this caused me a lot of missed deadlines and under performed task that just really didn’t represent my life essence. When you are a creative person the thought of a task can sometimes feel like a weight holding you down, so you set it to the “side” and say to yourself, “ I’ll get to you later task but for now I am going to do what feels good.” The problem is that with procrastination the formula is feel good now (kind of because you are always thinking about the task) and then feel worse later because you didn’t accomplish anything. Not so good, everyone gets it.

I tried a lot of things but nothing seemed to work. I tried planners, to do lists, goal setting and accountability. All are great methods, but they only last so long with a creative mind. Nothing really worked long term.

That’s because I wasn’t getting to the root problem.

I hadn’t figured out the skill that would set me free.

Until I learned about letting go.

I first learned to let go when I quit smoking. From what I know about smoking the Native Americans teach us that tobacco is an herb that is there for us to help ease emotional pain and a channel to see the grande woven web of reality to help identify and heal the pain. I had to dive deep within and really ask myself why I enjoyed smoking. I had to let go of the “need” to smoke to be a vessel of pleasure instead of healing the pain and truly being able to experience joy through clear emotional awareness and my lifelong wellness as a result.

From this I learned to let go of other false “needs” or attachments: material possessions, alcohol, junk food, meat, make-up ( yes I am a girl). I am not saying that these things are “things” everyone needs to let go of. But for me, the deeper I seemed to dive within myself, the more I could see why I was leaning on those things in my life and how lighter my life was without them. How truly freeing it is to just let go. I learned that when we attach ourselves to people, things or outcomes we actually negate the best (even more awesome then we possibly could have ever imagined) design the universe has in mind for us.

Here’s the process I used to let go of the distractions and attachments:

I realized my creative imagination could be my help or my harm. Just as much as our imagination can make every moment exciting and interesting, our imagination can exaggerate a task to be way more grisly than if we just sit down and do it.

I funneled the energy of joy I thought I would have by avoiding the “task” into the “task” itself. Take the joy you would be having procrastinating and implant it into your task. Literally project yourself into your project, see what I did there?

I set my intentions to do the best work I knew I could do. I let my imagination go wild and really pictured the end result and how that would make me feel. (I.E. accomplished and awesome)

I became more aware of my urges to run from the current moment. By running from the current moment and current task you are literally swimming against the stream of natural motion within all of the universe. No wonder we feel bad after.

Finally and most importantly I realized, I could be in discomfort and nothing bad would happen. In fact, the best things happen when I’m in discomfort. I learn to transform a situation that I thought would be uncomfortable into being an awesome lesson. Making me a multidimensional, more interesting person with a bonus of completely accomplished awesome projects! This then opening time and energy to move to more challenging and amplified version of your talents and gifts.

I’ll use a quote now to end this that I think rings true to this day:

‘You can only lose what you cling to.’ ~Buddha

When you learn to breathe, be in the moment and let go.

You receive your ultimate joy in return.

By Jocelyn Daher


set the boundaries.


You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love

Or you can start speaking up

Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do

When they settle ‘neath your skin

Kept on the inside and no sunlight

Sometimes the shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you


Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave


With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave



I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I wanna see you be brave


I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I wanna see you be brave


Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down

By the enemy

Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing

Bow down to the mighty

Don’t run, stop holding your tongue

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live

Maybe one of these days you can let the light in

Show me how big your brave is


Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave


With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave


And since your history of silence

Won’t do you any good

Did you think it would?

Let your words be anything but empty

Why don’t you tell them the truth?


Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave


With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave


I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I want to see you be brave


I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I want to see you be brave


I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I want to see you be brave


I just want to see you

I just want to see you.

See you be brave


Ive been thinking lately about my life. How my surroundings have been treated me.. And i somehow got the conclusion that it seemed that i didnt set enough boundaries to people.

I should be more bold in showing people what n how i wanted to b treated, in terms of respect me as an individual who have privacy n respect myself. IMG_20140519_101049


it’s a lil’ TOO much

Caring n giving attention to someone at his/her lowest moment is highly appreciated. But u still hv to know how much attention should be given. Especially when that person told u that he/she needs to b alone. Don’t insist to take part in every movement of her/his. You must appreciate that everybody has what so called PRIVACY.


Maksudnya baik, tapi kok jd posesif n nyecer knp ga bls bbm (pdhl udah di capture bbm yg diterima n aku reply).


Nyokap aja udah ga begitu, ini kok melebihi nyokap. Pacar (dulu) perasaan jg ga gt2 amat, klpun bbm lama ga dibls, akan nanya lbh ke karena khawatir, bukan malah nyecer jam sekian bbm ini ga di bls, trus jam segini bbm jg ga dibls.

Asli jengah bgt lama2.

Blm lg suka seenaknya berubah2.

Tserah deh mau marah kek, mau gmn kek.

Yg pasti i dont owe her anything, malah msh ada deposit (nitip nabung utk euro trip) di dia yg ga sedikit jg jumlahnya.

Kesel2 aku delete n block semua akses komunikasi sm dia jg deh, n anggap aja uangku angus..




back to ground zero.


Pernahkah kamu mencoba dan terus berharap dr suatu kondisi yg melibatkan karakter org lain?

Berharap keadaan akan membaik

Berharap seseorang akan berubah

Bukan hanya berharap, tapi jg sambil mempelajari dan bercermin di masa lalu.. Mempelajari diri sendiri

Mempertanyakan kejadian di masa lalu Mengalah




Terus berusaha dan berharap wlpn berkali2 tetap dihadapkan dgn karakter yg sama Berulang kali menghadapi situasi yg sama wlpn mgkn tak persis sama

Sampai akhirnya mencapai suatu titik dan merasa CUKUP.

Bahkan lbh dr cukup

Ya. Lebih dari cukup.







Setiap manusia mempunyai keinginan dan kebutuhan untuk didengar.

Tapi tidak semua manusia mampu menjadi pendengar yg baik.

Terkadang mengeluarkan cerita, pendapat atau bahkan keluh kesah, bisa membuat seseorang merasa lebih baik atau sedikit lebih lega.

Terkadang bukan pendapat, solusi atau penyelesaian masalah yg dibutuhkan, melainkan sepasang telinga dari seseorang yg mau mendengarkan.

Mendengarkan bukan sebagai angin lalu.

Mendengarkan dgn sungguh2, sbg seseorang yg peduli.


Tak harus sebagai pasangan atau terkait pertalian darah..

Hanya sebagai pendengar yg baik.

Krn suatu saat nanti, akan ada saatnya bagi tiap org butuh utk didengar.

Butuh bahu untuk bersandar..

Dan butuh sebuah pelukan tulus.

Untuk bs bertahan menghadapi cobaan.

Sekedar untuk tau bahwa masih ada yg peduli.

Dan hidup masih patut untuk diperjuangkan..